Creating a Plan for Shame

Some of us have had dark moments in our lives. I’ve been there. It’s been scary. I’ve called hotlines and people have called first responders on my behalf. I speak from experience.Shame is only good as an indicator of moral course correction, and more than than I believe it is destructive. “okay I shouldn’t have done that, I’ll make amends and I’ll do better next time. That’s good shame, But the other side of shame is dark and can hurt you.Shame is bad when it turns into thoughts like “ I don’t deserve to be alive, the world would be a better place without me, I’m worthless, I’m unloveable, I’m wrong as a person, I’m not good enough, I’m a burden, I don’t have any value…all these thoughts are fueled by bad shame. It comes from a core belief that you’re not good enough and that belief operates on a subconscious level. It shows up in different way in our lives. You may not ask for a raise or have trouble asking for what you want. These are just two examples. It comes from a negative event that happened at some point in your life. Maybe you were hit as a child, therefore you believe that you were unlovable, because why else would a parent hurt their kid? Maybe you had a someone who verbally abused you and ripped away your sense of self confidence, maybe there was sexual abuse. Something happened and you started to take on a negative self image.Start with the trauma and start with where that negative belief came from. Work on that. Literally talk to yourself in the mirror. I do it. I high five myself every day and tell myself I’m the best because for most of my life I believed I was worthless. And the only way I can to turn this bus (my life) is to drive it in a better direction. Does it feel dumb good! It’s working! It will change your life. I’m living proof. The point is to take responsibility but first you need to be well enough and aware. No excuses. If you need to do this and you don’t, you’re making a choice to stay the same. That’s your choice!Get to know your Shame because it’s not who you are. Someone else made you wear it like an ugly t-shirt that’s too small for you. It’s time to take it off and put something else on.I love you#shame